


Reddie for Songs (One-Shot Song Based Fics!)

by geminicastor



Category: IT (2017) RPF, IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Reddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 08:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geminicastor/pseuds/geminicastor
Summary: I'm @not-reddie-for-it on Tumblr!I love writing song fics but I feel like they have a different vibe from other types of one-shots so I decided to keep the song fics and the one-shots in separate.You may request a song in the comments but I have 8 requests lined up already so it might take me awhile to get to it!





	Reddie for Songs (One-Shot Song Based Fics!)

**Author's Note:**

> Breathe Me is a gorgeous song by Sia!
> 
> Richie thinking about some times he had a chance to talk to Eddie about his feelings and didn’t. Lots of crying. I’m crying. You’re crying. Pennywise is probably crying.
> 
> This is just short and sad ok. Ignore me.

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And the worst part is there’s no one else to blame

It’s over. Everything is over. It wasn’t fair. And I hate to think this but…out of all of us, it had to be him? Anyone else, even me, and it would be ok. But why Eddie? He’d thought he was so fragile his whole life and now look what happens when he’s finally brave. My…knight in shining armor. It’s my fault. It was always my fault from the very beginning…

Be my friend, hold me.

Wrap me up, unfold me.

“Rich! Hurry let’s go!” Eddie was 15, leaning against the door frame in Richie’s room and watching Richie rush around the room. “You should’ve packed earlier. Everyone else is going to leave!”

“Hold the fuck up! I’m almost done!” Richie was haphazardly throwing clothes into his bag, not bothering to be neat about it.

“You know if you folded them you would have more space for more clothes.”

“You know if you’d shut the fuck up I wouldn’t have to ignore all the great advice you give me,” Richie shot back. Eddie huffed, frowning and rolled his eyes as he turned to leave, not realizing that Richie was watching him walk away and down the stairs.

Richie sat down on the bed for a moment, staring at his hands. He always did that. He pushed and pushed on Eddie until he was mad at him. Eddie never stayed mad for long, but Richie reminded himself that it was better this way. It was better if he was constantly making his Eds mad at him.

He hated feeling like this. But he had to bury it. They lived in Derry. And even with the clown gone, his fears never would be. Plus, Eddie was his friend. He’d hate Richie if he found out. They all would…they’d-

“RICHIE HURRY THE HELL UP!”

Richie clenched his fist, grabbed his bag, and raced down the stairs, a false smile planted firmly across his face.

I am small and needy.

Warm me up and breathe me.

“Nobody else is available?” Richie and Eddie were 16 and standing in front of the movie theater. Richie was punching himself in his mind. He hadn’t come up with a good excuse to hang out with Eddie on their own. So he told him he was going to the movies and the losers were all invited. Except he didn’t invite anyone else…

“Ah, nope just us! But I’m really excited to see this so I’m going anyways!” Yeah right, he’d never cared about this movie but it was the only thing showing. Silence of the Lambs? Sounds weird.

“Is it scary?”

“Come on, Spaghetti. You chicken?” Richie chuckled.

“Gimme a break. Chicken? What are you, 5?” Eddie rolled his eyes. “You know it’s just because my heart rate is supposed to stay down. My inhaler is running low.”

“Well I’m going in. I’ll see you later,” Richie winked and saluted knowing full well that Eddie would follow him in with a scowl. He did.

“Shit it’s cold in here,” Eddie huffed as they sat down in the middle of the theater.

“Mommy didn’t pack you a sweater?” Richie crooned dramatically, leaning his head on his friends shoulder.

“Fuck you,” Eddie hissed, glancing over at his friend. But he froze as he noticed Richie was pulling his sweatshirt off. Richie went to hand it to Eddie and saw Eddie looking at him with a surprised face. Richie immediately realized this wasn’t a normal thing for a boy to do for his friend. Alone. At the movies. So he did what he does best and covered it up with humor.

“What? Wouldn’t want mamas boy to catch a cold at the movies. Then she’ll never let her little Spaghetti out of the house with horrible Richie ever again. Guess I’ll just have to take your mom to the movies next time.”

Eddie frowned, shoving the sweatshirt away from himself.

“Beep beep, Richie.”

But Eddie did take the sweatshirt half way through the movie after shivering for a straight 30 minutes.

Ouch I have lost myself again.

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.

Richie, age 18. In his room. Alone.

The unthinkable was happening.

Eddie was leaving. He’d gotten accepted to some great college (Richie’s heart was pounding too much to hear which school it was) and he and his mom were going to move to the town the school was in. Without the losers. Without Richie.

Richie felt hot tears streaming down his face as he laid down in his bed on top of the covers. Stop being a baby, he told himself. Stop caring so much, he practically screamed inside his head. STOP BEING GAY.

A phone call broke him out of his internal monologue. He looked at the phone and picked it up, hoping for a distraction. It wasn’t.

“Rich! You left so fast! Where did you go?”

Richie sucked in a sob which threatened to escape and give away his grief.

“I-I had something to do, Eds. Forgot about it ‘til the last second. Had to go. Real fast.”

“Richie you didn’t let me tell you when the going away party is.”

Richie squeezed his eyes shut, tears spilling again as he pressed his lips together.

“It’s next Wednesday.”

“NEXT WEDNESDAY!” Richie screamed, sitting straight up. “Th-that soon?”

“Yeah. Mom doesn’t want me out on a Wednesday but we have to leave on Thursday, so there really isn’t another time.”

Thursday. Next Thursday. The word stung Richie’s chest like a piercing dagger. Thursday. So close. Less than two weeks away.

“Richie! Earth to Richie! Hello?”

“Eds, I have to go. I…I have to go.”

“Wait, Richie-“

He hung up. He couldn’t bare it. The pain was greater than everything he’d ever felt before and anything he ever wanted to feel again.

The next week and a half, Richie pretended to be sick, going so far as to call Eddie’s mom and tell her that he is deathly ill so that she wouldn’t let her poor, fragile Eddie Bear over to see him.

Thursday comes and goes. And Eddie is gone. But Richie couldn’t bare to watch him leave. It hurt too much and every bad feeling he’d ever felt for himself and his feelings was magnified at the lose of his friend. His love. His Eddie.

But he’d never had the guts to tell him. And now….

I think that I might break.

Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

…now it was too late.

The house fell and I watched, screaming. Begging. I couldn’t even hear myself but I know I was trying to get away. I was trying to run to his side so I could just hold him again. I knew it was too late, though. I knew it. And I felt like that helpless teenager again, hopelessly in love with someone I never had the guts to admit feelings for. My fear always hovering in the front of my mind. The fear of rejection. Of hate.

But nothing was worse than this, this time. Knowing he was moving away was nothing compared to this feeling of overwhelming, crushing sadness. Nothing could ever be worse than watching the house crumble down, knowing who was inside getting lost and crushed and dirty. He’d hate it. He’d hate it so much. It was dirty down there. He’d hate it. 

But it’s too late. It’s too late to do anything at all. I guess I’ll always be a loser since I lost you again. But for good this time.

Be my friend, hold me.

Wrap me up, unfold me.

I am small and needy.

Warm me up and breathe me.


End file.
